The Clutchies

The Clutchies

An Axe Throwing Awards Show

Philly’s Golden Globes

If you didn’t get the chance to attend the 2020 Clutchies, I feel bad for you. It was SO much fun. Fortunately, you can watch a reply of the Live Stream. This was a night full of laughs with friends starting with the premise voting on various categories and the winners receiving awards. The Philly Space put this event on. I for one would like to thank them and congratulate them on such an amazingly thought out and executed idea for the axe throwing community.

From start to finish, it did not disappoint. Categories and nominees were put together for voting. Axe throwers from the area were polled, and so it began. Originally planned to be a small event held at the Monkey Club quickly turned into something that sold out their capacity before even going on sale to the public. The Space mentioned this to me and I told them not to worry, we will get them covered. Next Stop BB&T Pavilion on the Camden Waterfront… Just not the main stage. Still not bad for a first attempt.

The Axe Throwing Nominees and Attendees

Being as The Space didn’t think anyone would even come, let alone travel for this. Everyone was from the greater Philadelphia area. Although we all throw axes at different venues on different days, there are several local events where we all get to interact with each other. Chopper’s monthly axe throwing tournament, the Turnpike Strike is one of those events. The Urban Open, Space tournaments, Choptober as well as traveling to Canada for the IATC all get us together and make the axe family and friends that much tighter.

Categorizing memories and moments. Hilarious. It was fun just filling out the questionnaire and voting. Having so many axe throwers in a small area who all know each other well, made for a LOT of great categories. Some of them included, Best Beard. Most Awkward Moment. Worst Axe thrower ever. Best Musical Moment. Most Iconic Drop (I won that one LOL). Thank you for Beating them. The Best Space Tournament Moment.

There were even games to be played at the Clutchies. The night got a little out of hand with how long some things took and they did not get to all of them, but were ready with them none the less. I believe the only two we got to were Newly wed game and Family Fued. Tony Tiger Balm earned a new nickname as Tony Tire Iron guessing that the number one thing 100 people said they would throw if axe throwing became illegal. Yes Tony, we all would pick Tire Irons to throw…

The Team That Put it All Together

A collaborative effort for sure. Uncle Willy, Mike Kump, David Cycon and of course the host, Mr Jimmy Wyatt. Beautifully done fellas! Everything from the dramatic reenactments, to production, the shirts, trophies and especially the hosting. Jimmy absolutely killed up up there. With anyone else as the host, I don’t know how it would have went. Jimmy is amazingly talented and a funny comedian. If you didn’t know, he does stand-up. He’s kind of a big deal.

Thank You guys! Seriously. You give me hope in this community that other people want to do fun things and think outside of the box. Whether it is coming up with new skills games, or coordinating Challenger Series events that help the charity partners of a tournament. They are always coming up with creative things to keep it fun AND to give the spotlight to others from time to time. As a creative person myself, I love it. They are true leaders in the community. Thanks for helping keep axe throwing something we all love and enjoy.

The Clutchies Crowd
Photo by Sean Malvey
Host with the most
Mr. Jimmy Wyatt
Photo by Sean Malvey
L-Train and Rupert with their Ladies
L-Train Jamie Rupert and Jenna
Photo by Sean Malvey
Family Feud - The axe throwing Version
Family Feud
Photo by Sean Malvey

Complete list of Awards and winners

The “Joe Perry Crybaby” Award Joe Perry For Every Time He’s Cried
The “Biggest Upset” Lisa Quinn For Beating Cycon in Big Axe
The Best Tantrum (Non-Quitting) Chris Cadieux For The Many Times Chris has lost his Shit
Thank You for Beating Them Will Gelatko For Slapping Kump Around All The Time
Best Use of Calipers Babe
Best Dressed Rob Krauss
Best Dressed Jules
50th Birthday Award Greg Anderson
Name Pulled from Hat Award Joe Perry
Best Technological Advancement Keith Gibbons For Chopper’s Livestreams
The Best “Welcome” Moment Handsome Dan to Jeff Cope “Welcome to Black League” Season 4 Week 1 of Wednesday Black
Best TPS Host No One, it’s always a shit show (Also KAK)
Best Musical Moment Tiny Dancer every time tiny dancer comes on
Best Space Tournament Moment Sean Malvey and Will Gelatko For Landing on Tea Off, first spin of Wheel of Skills
Worst Space Tournament Moment Everyone but Kump and Will For When you realized you payed $20 just see another Kump vs Will Finals
Most Iconic Drop Keith Gibbons For Tripping and dropping his computer at Choppers
Best Potluck Contributor Cackle Mary Because Every Weeks a pot luck
The “Cottonwood? More Like Cottonmouth” Award Sean Malvey
Most Awkward Moment Danielle Gelatko For Wishing “Good Luck” to Kump while just saying goodbye to Will
The “What Are You Silly, I’m Just Gonna Send It” Award Rob Knelly For His overall attitude towards life
You Shouldn’t Even Throw Here Vin Crescenzo
Axe Marketeer of the Year Vin Crescenzo
Best Trickshot Scootsy For Baseball Axe
Worst Axe Thrower Ever Ethan Buckman
Best Attempt at a Cash Grab The Space charging an entry fee to all those tournaments. Those fuckers just pocket the cash.
The “Sportsmanship” Award Mike Kump
Worst Place to Throw The Philly Space, for being a “cool kids club” that looks down on the rest of the community
Worst Axescores Name Sean M
Best Axescores Name Starsky N Clutch
The Official “Throw Better” Award Joe Perry For letting John Salera come back for one season and give him the business during Primative Thursday Finals
Best Troll of WATL Ethan Buckman For Talking shit for three months prior to the US Open, and then not going
Best Troll of IATF Mike Kump and Dave Cycon For Using Roofing hatchets at BATL Royale
The “Imitation is the Best Form of Flattery” Award Delco Dojo
You Let The Whole Team Down Award Chris Deguano For Telling his yhatzee team not to worry about the knot in the bull and then dropping on said bull. Urban Open 2019
Rupert T Periwinkle Memorial Award (Best Beard) Mark Hunt
Best Costume Design Siggy and Krugz At Choptober 2018 Filter / No-Filter
Best Opponent to Play Rob Krauss
After Party MVP Tiny Dancer Urban Open 2018 & 2019
Best Tournament Moment Grill For Beating Straun in the B Bracket Finals at Choptober 2019
Best Team Name Elliot, Lorenzo, Bird Dog, Snapplegate for their team Natty by Nature
Breakout Thrower of the Year Grill
Best Community Ambassador Dave Tyger

2 thoughts on “The Clutchies”

  1. Please says:

    Can we have links from these awards so we can watch the magic too?

    1. Keith Gibbons says:

      This was aired on The Philly Space’s FB Page.

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